"Are your in-laws against babies or something?"

this quote from heather has had me laughing... "Are your in-laws against babies or something?"

well, to answer this question, no they are not against babies, but they are 2 of the most socially awkward people i know. they just don't get it most of the time. they never know what to do, or say that is appropriate.

here are just a couple examples:

our families were both over to celebrate the boys birthdays. it was the sunday after my dad started his chemo/radiation and he tried to explain what he was going through, and even showed them his chemo pump and my mil kept asking when he was going to start, and my fil offered to donate blood to him if he needed it.

ok, here's another.... my brother died of complications from type 1 diabetes at age 25. my mil didn't understand why she couldn't be in the "receiving line" at the funeral home, as if it was some sort of social event. and my fil has type 2 diabetes b/c his is so overweight... but every party we are at that there is cake, he will ask for extra frosting and them joke that his sugar levels are out of control. craig has told him on countless occasions that it is rude and there is no need to make comments like that, but he still does.

oh, and just recently my mil asked me why i don't give all my baby boy clothes to my 6 month old nephew... i mentioned that we may need them again some day, i want to keep all my baby stuff until i am done. her response "well after what happened to you (ie: m/c) i would think you would want to get rid of all your baby stuff."

my fil is a justice of the peace, and married craig and i. i wrote out exactly what he was suppose to say. he wanted to put his own spin on things, and add sayings that we didn't want. i remember stressing about it to my parents, and really regretted that we said he could marry us. well the day of the wedding came, and fil was talking to my dad about the ceremony and how he was going to just add a couple of things, and he figured i would be so nervous, i wouldn't even notice. very calmly my dad looked at him and said "don't f*ck with my daughter on her wedding day."

carter was so proud when he learned to read, and wanted to read my in-laws a story. while reading they were playing with their cell phones, cameras and talking to each other. neither of them were paying attention at all.

my in-laws are only interested in what is in it for them... they don't care about the memory, they only want to take a picture to show their friends. my mil is only interested in what she tells her friends about her relationship with us and her grandkids, she doesn't actually want one.

my in-laws are not allowed to babysit our kids, or be around them unsupervised. we only see them when we have to out of obligation, not because we ever want to.

just tonight craig and i are watching The Biggest Loser. it's makeover week and their families were visiting and they were so proud of the great accomplishments the contestants have made. craig made a comment that he has never felt that from his parents. i know exactly what he is saying. it is always about them. when craig graduated from college and then went on to pass lots of the actuary exams, they are proud of themselves. when we were getting married, it was all about them and who they could invite, and if they could have their own dance, etc. when carter was born after i was on bed rest for 3 months, all my mil could say was how hard it was for her.

so this is just a small glimpse into what i (we) deal with... it is a damn good thing that my relationship with craig is so strong, because his parents are a lot of baggage. i wish they knew everything he has accomplished and achieved is not because of them, but in spite of them. it has always been his goal to be nothing like them when he grew up... and for that i am so proud.