here we go again...

march 23, 2010
the good news is i'm pregnant again... the bad news is i am a nervous wreck!!! i had my first blood test done today, so i am hoping it is a good number and it doubles nicely. ***fingers crossed***


march 24, 2010
my first beta came back low - only 29. when i talked to the nurse, she started asking me all sorts of questions about my cycle, and then said "well, your like only 2 minutes pregnant"... let's repeat them on friday. i didn't like her tone at all. it's not my fault that home pregnancy tests are so sensitive and can detect a pregnancy so early.

also, at the advice of some my friends, i asked them to also check my progesterone levels, since that can be the cause of a m/c, and they said that number looked good for where i was.

i have taken a total of 5 pregnancy tests this week... and each time the line is getting darker, which is a good thing. for some reason a calm has come over me today. this pregnancy will be what it will be... there is nothing i can do to change that. i am optimistic that come november, we will be adding the final addition to our family.

march 25, 2010
remember yesterday when i said i had a calm come over me??? well, i lied! i am nervous... tomorrow i am going to get my blood drawn again. let's see, if it was 29 on tuesday, then i am really hoping for at least 100. is that too much to ask for? when i looked online, the normal range for betas is so large that pretty much any number would fall in there. everything i read said it doesn't matter what the number is, just as long as it doubles every 48 hours.

last time the hardest thing i had to do was to tell my mother i was pregnant and i miscarried all in one sentence. i promised myself i would not do that again... well, that was before we knew my dad had cancer.

my dad has completed his first week of chemo and radiation. he is really tired, and sick. he tried so hard to keep working, but he couldn't do it. so for now he is just concentrating on getting through the rest of this 6 week phase.

i need to figure out when the perfect time to tell them would be. maybe once i have an u/s and things look good and on track??? well, i have plenty of time to figure it all out. for now, i am just hoping and praying the little life that is inside me will keep growing. i need it to keep growing.

march 26, 2010
yay! good numbers today.
beta is up to 131, and prog. is at 19

i am going to go back one more time next week to make sure the numbers are still rising appropriately. they also scheduled an u/s for april 12th, when i will be 7 weeks.

***doing a happy dance***

april 1, 2010
betas are up to 2500, and prog. is at 20. :)

we are going to my parents house on sat. to celebrate easter, and have decided to tell them the news. it will be uplifting for my dad, and if things go wrong again, i can't imagine going through it without my family. i am feeling really positive!!!!

april 3, 2010
today we went to my parents house to celebrate easter with them. we gave them an easter card from the kids, and i signed it
Love your 3 bunnies
Carter, Mason, and Hadley
(oh, and one little turkey due in nov.)

my parents were so excited, and had tears in their eyes. we kept it quiet because the kids were in the other room, and we haven't told them yet, and we won't until much later when we feel more secure in the pregnancy.

i am so happy we shared the news with them today. i am also so thrilled that they were so excited!!! after hadley was born, my mom was so excited that we had a girl, i think she thought why have any more... we had a perfect family. for us, it has never been about the gender, but about wanting a big family.

now, one more week to go until my u/s...

april 12, 2010
i had my u/s today!!! everything looked great!!! the u/s tech showed me the baby and the heart beat right away, so i wouldn't be nervous. the heart rate was 126. i go back on the 22nd for my next appointment which is just medical history stuff. i think i might call back and see if i can get another u/s just to make sure things are growing properly.


i haven't shared my news with anyone except my parents. i am not sure why, or what the hold up is, but for some reason it just hasn't felt right. i am actually very optimistic about this pregnancy, but for whatever reason i am feeling reserved. my pants are starting to get tight, and my bloat is out of control. i don't have the sweaters, layers, and vests to hide my belly like i did last time. i really need to make a couple calls, or hope they read my blog... lol!

ok... i am really going to hit "publish post" now.... i guess this is really real.