merry christmas

well, the last few days have not exactly gone how we planned, but we have managed to survive...

yesterday my parents came over in the morning to watch the kids for the day while we headed to the hospital. they brought the kids all their presents, made cookies, and made sure they had a fun day. even though i was heart broken, and hated that i had to have surgery on x-mas eve, i was even more upset that the kids wouldn't have the christmas eve i had planned.

the hospital was pretty empty, and everyone seemed to be waiting for me. as soon as we walked in, they knew who we were. we went up to pre-op and the nurse gave me a hug and was very nice to us. they got me changed, iv started and then the doctor, or nurse, and 3 anesthesiologist came in to meet with me. they gave me something to calm my nerves, and told me i would be knocked out before the procedure. the last thing i remember was telling them my iv hurt, and then i was waking up in recovery. i woke up crying, and just so sad. it was hard to wake up.

on the ride home the cramps started. "minor discomfort" really doesn't really come close to the pain i felt yesterday. it was more like painful contractions. when i got home i tried to just lay down and relax. after we were settled, my parents left.

we got the kids in their new pajamas, read "twas the night before christmas", put out cookies and chocolate milk for santa, and put them to bed.

craig then took on the job as "santa". he brought up all the gifts, got everything ready. he really is an amazing husband and father. he has been so good to me, and has helped me through this whole process.

i went up to bed, took tylenol pm and off to sleep i went. i didn't wake up until carter came to get me this morning at 7:00 am.

this morning the kids were so excited!!! we all came down and started christmas by opening presents, and eating food. all day we stayed in our pj's, ate whatever we wanted and played with the new toys. craig and i gave the boys wii, and that was fun to play. my parents decided not to come back today and just let us rest, which was much appreciated. tonight, we are watching the hangover and resting. so not quite the christmas i planned, but it was nice.

i am not in as much pain as yesterday... just "crampy" and uncomfortable. i am trying to be in the moment with the kids, but sometimes the sadness comes over me. i guess that is normal, and expected. i have canceled all plans for the weekend, and i am just staying home, in my pj's and allowing myself this time to grieve.

here are some pictures from today...