tired, overwhelmed, and a little sad...

gosh, where to begin? somehow things are just crazy busy around here these days... sports, school, doctors appointments, 4 kids, work, house stuff... the list goes on!

i don't want to complain, because honestly i have nothing to complain about... just some days are busier than others, and i feel like i am juggling a lot right now. graham is the happiest baby ever... he's so good! but he is now 6 months old and doesn't sleep all the time anymore. and hadley is full of life!!! she is funny, cute, and sweet... well, that's when she is not whining, yelling and having tantrums (hello terrible 2s). mason is good, but has been a bit oversensitive these days and it drives me crazy!!!! and carter just is carter... when he's good, he awesome, and then there are the mornings that we are fighting before the bus comes at 7:30 because i won't let him wear shorts to school when the high of the day is 57 degrees.

i feel like i am not as organized as i usually am and it is driving me crazy!!! i have never looked forward to a summer vacation before as much as i am now... i just want to be done with home work, and getting up and out early, and schedules.

i am spending a lot of time and energy on the auction we are having for mason's school... when i shut my eyes at night, my mind is racing and i hate it!

graham has been sick with his wheezing cough forever now... we tried a new medication in his nebulizer that didn't work ($150 for the month's supply) and today i picked up something new his doctor recommended ($110) which i am not optimistic about. on monday i need to make an appointment with the ent to see what he says. and i already know when hadley has her 2 1/2 year checkup this summer. they are going to want to schedule surgery for her hernia... we've been putting it off for a year now.

ok, and here comes the part when i'm sad... i know craig feels this way too. carter's on a travel soccer team and he's not so good. his heart just isn't into it. there are 8 kids on the team, and he would be ranked 8th. it's a small team because so many boys are doing baseball or lacrosse. if there was an "A" team and a "B" team, he would be on the lower skilled team and be fine, but since there is only one option, it is just hard to watch. once you are on travel teams, and it is no longer just a fun in-town league, it's hard to face reality.

let me just say that i/we are not sad at his ability... he is, what he is. i just hate the idea of him noticing that he's not in the top tier.

tonight were the try-outs for summer baseball. now, carter does well in baseball... he is a good player and loves it! again, he is not in the top group of players, but can usually hold his own. well 15 kids tried out, and craig said he didn't do well tonight. if 12 players make the team, it breaks my heart to think he will be one of 3 that doesn't. he'll still have an opportunity to play on the lower team. not a big deal if any of his friends would play with him, but if they all make it and he doesn't, that breaks my heart.

around 50 kids play 2nd grade baseball... and he does fall right in the middle of that group. but when only 15 kids try out, it's hard to see where you rank. who knows, maybe he'll make the team and have a great summer? i just don't want him feeling discouraged in baseball the same way he does in soccer.

oh well... those are the thoughts going through my mind tonight. i still need to upload graham's six month photos... and tackle all the chores. or maybe just go to bed!!!!

there are lots of things i don't say on my blog because it is public... i am thinking of making it private, but i need to figure out how to do that. you know, i do have my loyal 3 readers! ha!