my summer prayer...

so, this is my prayer for summer... and it is a good thing i am pregnant, or i would be drinking quite a bit.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

there are moments in the day that i absolutely love, and everything is going great. then there are the fights, and whining, and really, i just want to give my children away for free. well, not all of them, so far hadley isn't into the whining and fighting yet.

really, does it matter who gets out of the car first? it isn't a contest, and there is no winner.... so why, knock your brother down, so you are the first out? i just don't get it... same thing goes for washing your hands, brushing your teeth, getting a snack... can't we just figure out how to do it together and be civil to each other?

summer is a time to play, have fun, and relax. when did it become my job to schedule something for every hour of the day, and to buy toys, presents and rewards on a daily basis?

2 more full months of summer vacation, and i would like to keep my sanity please... is that too much to ask???

more on celebration...

what a great weekend! friday night i went out for a pedicure with my friends, and then did some shopping and grabbed dinner. it was just what i needed after the first week of school vacation.

friday we also set up a big water slide for the boys... i'm pretty sure this will do a good job of keeping them busy this summer.

our new toy... the boys love it!!!!!





saturday night craig and i went to morton's steakhouse to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. we had a great dinner, and it was so nice to get out and just enjoy each other.

oh, and craig gave me two little boxes from tiffany's before we went out. the first one there was a pair of pearl earrings, and the second was a silver bracelet. pearl is my birthstone, and i don't have any pearl jewelry. the bracelet was really pretty, it was just a little too tight. so, i'll probably have to exchange it for another one that is a little bigger, but really the gifts were so nice.

anniversary dinner night out and belly picture (17 weeks 5 days)




today we had friends over for a pizza party... it was so much fun, and we also celebrated my birthday. the kids had a blast playing, and i always love chatting with the girls.






this week carter has basketball camp, so we need to be up and out early everyday. i also have my big 18 week u/s on thursday (our anniversary) and i can't wait!!! we finally decided to not find out the gender... although i reserve the right to change my mind if i want. haha!

lots to celebrate

i'm going to make this quick, and i'll add some pictures later...

this week i will be celebrating my birthday!! 33 years old... i like the number 33, it is a good one. craig and i will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary! honestly the years have gone by so fast, and have been wonderful! my dad will be 56 this week too... and i am so thankful that he has another year to celebrate. right now he is still recovering from surgery and will be starting chemo soon.

life can be very unpredictable, and i never want to take for granted that tomorrow will come. today is a good day to celebrate with friends and enjoy some cake!!! heck, everyday is a good day for cake!!!

happy father's day

i am so happy that not only do a have a great dad, but also an amazing husband who is a wonderful father to our children. my dad's recovery is going well, and he is getting a little better each day. hadley and i took a ride up to see him yesterday and i think the joy of an 18 month old is just what he needed.

this weekend i also had a great time with craig and the kids. we played outside a lot, went out to dinner, and enjoyed ice cream. tonight craig brought carter to his very first red sox game. i can't wait to hear how it went.



also, i am pretty sure hadley is doing her best to try to make me change my opinion on 18 month olds... in the past it has never been my favorite age. the last couple of weeks she has been nothing but cute, funny, and 100% lovable. seriously, she just cracks me up!!!

oh, and i am pretty sure i am finally starting to feel the baby move! it is subtle, but if i am sitting still i can feel it. tomorrow i will be 17 weeks... it sure is going by fast!!!

back to father's day...
dear craig,
i just want to say thank you... thank you for being a supportive and wonderful husband. i am so grateful to have you by my side as we parent our children together. you are there with me as we make the tough decisions, share the laughs, smiles, and hugs, and vent out frustrations at the end of the night.
happy father's day!
love, Shan
xoxo

here are some photos from the weekend...

carter's last day of school! school's out for summer...


playing outside







and a belly pic...


wish me luck... summer vacation official starts tomorrow!

pink? blue? or green?

with each pregnancy i knew right from the beginning whether i wanted to find out what we were having.

my first pregnancy i was so excited and wanted to get everything perfect and just had to know. for the record i thought i was having a girl, and clearly carter is a boy.

then after 16 months of trying, we finally got pregnant w/ mason. i felt like i had waited long enough and just had to know what i was having. my pregnancy was so different than the first so i figured, this one must be a girl. even the u/s tech guessed girl at my 12 week scan. we were so excited to have a little avery kate, and then at 18 weeks we were told that we were having another boy! i was thrilled, i kinda wanted another boy. i figured i always wanted a sister, carter would love having a brother.

baby #3 (aka hadley) - craig and i always said that waiting until the birth would be fun, and that this might be our last pregnancy, that it could be an exciting way to make this pregnancy special. i was also so sick of strangers asking me if i wanted a girl and how great a girl would be. in my heart i thought that this baby was another boy, and i didn't want anyone to make a stupid comment that they felt sorry for me that i didn't have a girl. i just wanted to enjoy the pregnancy. i have always loved the idea of 3 or 4 of a kind. 3 boys sounded fun, and i would've loved to remain the only girl in the house. boy, did we receive the shock of our life, when after i delivered the baby, they placed it on my tummy and my doctor told craig to open the legs and make the call.... and he said (with tears streaming down his face) "it's a girl!"

that moment was amazing!!! was it the excitement of the day? or was it because i was so sure it was a boy and i was wrong? i never knew how much i wanted a daughter until she was there, and i fell in love instantly. it was one of the best moments in my life.

so here i am... pregnant again, and i really don't know what to do. i just assumed that last time the experience was so great, i would want to do it again. but now i questioning that. it would be great for the kids to find out, especially the boys. our big u/s is scheduled on our 10th anniversary, and that would be a very special gift. since i now have both boys and a girl, there isn't as much hype over will this one be the girl... i have no "gut" instinct about this baby's gender, which is good, since i am always wrong.

oh, and names... they are so much harder this time. i told craig tonight that i have been looking at the same baby names for 8 years... it might be nice to just think of one gender.

i think it might be a game time decision... craig said it is up to me, he doesn't care either way. these are the thoughts running through my head while watching game 7 of the celtics vs. lakers. (go celtics!)

all thoughts, opinions, suggestions welcomed! and of course baby names... help!!!!

{the end}

lacrosse finished for the season last week. i don't see it in the cards for carter's future, but maybe for mason. the first half of the season he had a fit for an hour before practice... really, are we ever going to out grow this stage? i swear he has more tantrums than mason. he really didn't like wearing all the equipment, but that's kinda how he rolls. by the second half he no longer complained about going, and he was actually having fun. the good news is, we now have our sundays back.




fyi - carter was the one who wanted to play lacrosse. if he picks an activity we make him follow it through to the end, even if it means he turns into an awful child once a week, and ruins my sunday mornings. he stuck with it, and did end up having fun.

baseball is also over. carter improved so much over the season. he was so excited that craig was one of his coaches. craig really wants him to play on the summer baseball team. i really don't have an opinion if he should or shouldn't. carter loved it, and the more he plays the better he will get. but then again, i really don't want a ton of obligations this summer.

(this just in - craig signed him up, so i guess he is playing)

mason had his last day of preschool last week. it was such a cute day. the kids did a sing along with their music teacher, and then we had a family picnic. the teachers made a slide show and of course i started tearing up watching it. they sent home a copy with each family and we were able to watch it at home. carter was jealous of all the fun things mason does at school and claims he has too much work. ha!



the kids got a special surprise... the ice cream truck came to the school, and all the kids were so excited. it was a great finish to the year!




he had such a great year. he now can write his name, and draw pictures... and so many other things he wouldn't even try when he started in september. his school has become like a family to us. the teachers are so warm and loving.

mason also had his last speech class, and now has the summer off. he actually really liked going to speech because it was at carter's school (aka the elementary school). his therapist thinks he will need speech services up until kindergarten. he is improving so much, but still has his issues.

just for fun, here is a belly picture of me at 15 weeks and a couple of hadley.






she is just too cute these days!!! she loves all things pretty and is clearly a girly girl. the other day craig asked her "who's the most beautiful girl in the world?" and she raised her hand and said "it's me!" i have no idea where she learned that. she is talking so much. the boys both had a speech delay at her age, so i am so over joyed!!! finally one of my kids doesn't need EI. lol!

"i'm bored"

i can already hear it... "i'm bored!" actually, i'm sure i will hear it no less than 539 times a week.

last year we made a fun list of things to do to keep busy. it really helped keep us entertained, and we added to it as the summer went on.

fun things to do this summer - 2010
• visit library
• zoo
• play dates w/ friends
• visit a park
• davis farmland
• go out for ice cream
• disney
• bowling
• set up sprinkler in back yard
• go to the beach
• bake brownies or cookies
• paw sox
• day in boston
• chuck- e- cheese
• word searches / puzzles
• practice math facts
• keep a summer journal
• read books
• make play dough
• watch movies / go to the movies
• mini-golf


even though it isn't technically on the list, another project that will keep us busy this summer will be the "big move". mason will be moving into carter's room. i really would love to get carter's room painted, but actually finding a painter, and getting them to paint a simple room w/out charging an arm and a leg has been difficult (who knew?). and having craig paint is not an option. we will not be moving hadley into mason's room yet, but i want the boys settled and into a routine before the start of school.

wish me luck!!!
i think i can, i think i can, i think i can....

today was a LONG day!

5 am - time to get up, shower, and go
6 am - hop in the car, get a coffee and drive
7 am - arrive at hospital, and wait in the wrong "family waiting" room.
7:30 am - find my mom in the other waiting room
7:30 - 10:00 - wait, wait wait... read magazines, and books, and try to not talk about baby names with my mom.
10 am - get a bite to eat
10:30 - 2:00 - wait, wait, wait....

the doctor said she would be out around 1:00 to talk with us, and by 2:00 we had the waiting room attendent (not sure what her official title was) call into the OR to see how much longer. they said they needed another 30-45 minutes. my mom and i ran down to the cafe to get some lunch and bring it back up to the waiting room.

2:45 - the doctor finally came in to get us and let us know that the surgery was a success, and that they were able to get out the tumor, and it didn't spread at all. (thank god). she said my dad was still in the OR w/ a breathing tube and it would be a couple more hours before he was in recovery and we could see him.

my mom and i went outside and made some phone calls. after talking to my mom and i decided that i would go home. i wanted to see my dad, but if it was going to be a couple more hours, and we were heading into rush hour traffic and the hospital is an hour away with no traffic. my mom said she would call me when she got home.

i think around 5ish my mom finally got to see my dad. he was fiesty, and wanted to take his tube out. they asked my mom to leave and they got the tube out, and gave him some more pain medication. when my mom went back in again, she said he was doing much better and wanted to watch the red sox. the nurses explained that because of his breathing they wanted to watch him closely in recovery overnight, and tomorrow he would get settled in his room.

it's going to be hard to visit since no children are allowed at the hospital. on wednesday when my sitter comes, i can head up for a couple of hours.

i am just so relieved that today is over and we can move forward with his recover. thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers...

how is it june already?

wow, time sure does fly... school is almost out, and we are getting ready for summer! mason only has 2 more days of school, and one more day of speech. carter still has 10 days left, and gets out on the 18th.

i like to stay somewhat busy during the summer. soon, we will make a list of all the things we want to do and the kids love to cross things off. usually it is trips to the zoo, beach and library. carter will be doing soccer camp, basketball camp, and a lego/painting camp. mason will do a week at his preschool, and then while carter does the lego camp, mason will go to a preschool playtime one at the same time. each of those are only 1/2 days, so they don't take up too much time, just something to do. this year i am also hoping to do the beach more.

tomorrow is my dad's surgery. it is scheduled to start at 7:30 am, and will last 5-6 hours. i was planning on meeting my mom there around 9ish since the hospital is about an hour away. but when they met with his doctor last week to go over everything, she mentioned that she saw something on his scan, and couldn't tell if it was nothing, or if the cancer had spread. she will only really know when she gets in there. she also mentioned that she might decide to just close him back up and not to the surgery if it has spread. well, this obviously isn't good news, so i figured i should be there with my mom from the beginning, just in case things don't go well.

my dad has been really depressed, and just feels like he is not going to make it through the surgery. my mom is trying so hard to stay positive and be strong. it just sucks!!! last night our family, my parents and my niece and her mom all went to my parents to hang out. i think my dad loved having all the kids there, eat pizza and drink some beers. it was a good time. we are not telling the kids about the surgery, and they won't be able to see him for a couple of weeks so it was nice that they were all there.

in other news, i am going to be 15 weeks pregnant tomorrow... things are moving right along. my belly is starting to "pop", and i need to get some more maternity clothes. i have no feeling if this baby is a boy or girl... and still don't have a list of baby names that i like.

i met my girlfriends out on friday night and we saw Sex and the City 2. i really liked it. the reviews weren't so good, but for me it was the perfect chick flick. i love movie night with the girls! we sit in the lux section, sit in big comfy chairs, and a waitress brings us food and drinks.

i'll update more after my dad's surgery tomorrow... please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.