Thursday, April 30, 2009
i have also been thinking of a few of my friends going through difficult times right now. i really wish i could give them each of a big hug and tell them it is all going to be ok.
sometimes life just doesn't seem fair. i think we all hit a bump in the road when we question everything. when life keeps throwing us curve balls, and we are suppose to carry on with our heads held high.
i am so glad that i have discovered this world of blogging. not only am i able to get out my own thoughts, emotions, vents, and share some pictures. i am able to read the thoughts and emotions of my friends. i really wish i had this as an outlet when i hit my lowest point.
2004 was the worst year in my life. from start to finish, it just sucked!!! i don't want to recount each painful month, but he major lows were that my brother died unexpectedly, my dad got diagnosed with colon cancer, my grandmother died, and i was struggling with infertility.
i felt like i had to keep it together and i would cry in the shower everyday so that carter didn't see me. i saw a therapist, went on anti-depressants, and i just kept on going. i think people were afraid to ask how i was doing - maybe they didn't want to hear the answer. i am usually the one who is there for everyone, and i really just needed someone to listen.
the good thing about blogs, is that you don't have to wait for someone to ask how you are doing. you can just type exactly what is on your mind.
i have been doing a lot of thinking lately. this year will mark the 5th anniversary of my brother's death. i cried everyday from july 22, 2004 - july 22, 2005. i got a phone call on the 1 year anniversary of his death from my doctor's office. i was pregnant! after 16 months of fertility issues, i was finally pregnant. that is the day my life changed.
i was no longer mourning a death, i was going to celebrate a life. at that point i really changed my emotional thought process. i really do believe everything that i went through has made me who i am today.
one of things i love most in this world are newborn babies. for me they are just everything perfect in the world. i could hold one all day and night. i wouldn't say i loved getting up with a newborn at 3 am, but i didn't mind it at all. it was quality time, and i knew it wouldn't last forever. it's not that i didn't love carter, but i don't think i appreciated him as much as i did mason.
funny, how one email about a 9 year old with cancer can lead to all these thoughts. i guess what i am trying to say, is that even though 2004 was the worst year of my life, it has made me who i am today... and through my pain, i have become a strong, sensitive and compassionate person.
Monday, April 27, 2009
last weekend we also switched hadley to her big girl car seat!!! i think she is digging her new ride!! although it is hard at first to not have the infant carrier, my back was killing!!!
today we had hadley's 4 month check-up (a little late). she is perfect, and doing great! she is a big girl, and weighed in at 17 lbs. i will have to check all the other stats, they are still out in the car. how cut is this halter dress??? i guess i should be happy it is 90 degrees today, because i don't think it will still fit this summer. btw, she loves to eat her dresses....
Friday, April 24, 2009
ok, i was ready to enjoy the beautiful weather, and spend a couple hours at at the park. literally 1 minute later, mason came up to me and told me he peed his pants. seriously??? i couldn't believe it. since he has been potty trained, he has never had an accident out of the house. i was thankful my mom was already driving my car down, b/c i had extra clothes in there.
finally, we were ready to enjoy our afternoon. today was a beautiful day! the sky was blue, it was in the low 70's, and the sun was shining! really, it was the perfect day! after a couple hours at the park, we headed back to my parents house. tomorrow is my mom's b-day, so i wanted to spend the day with her. now that carter is in school full time, i don't to visit with my parents as often as i would like.
we stayed until bedtime, and i packed up my car, the kids, and all our stuff. it's funny how my once large, beast of an suv is suddenly starting to feel small. everyone fell asleep and i was able to move the kids to their beds/crib. it was really a nice day, and the perfect end to vacation week.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
mason had his swimming lesson this morning, and after that we headed up to the atrium mall for the 3rd time this week. i wanted to get my mom a birthday gift, and i forgot to pick it up when i was there on tuesday. i also wanted to check out janie and jack to use the rest of the store credit i had for there. miss hadley now has another pretty dress to add to her collection!!!
craig and carter met us at cheesecake factory, and we all had a nice lunch together. i get the same thing every time - factory chopped salad w/ ranch dressing. i think i could eat that everyday if i had the chance!!! so good!!! after lunch i brought the kids home, and craig returned to work.
i would say today was a good day!!! tonight i am getting out of the house for a little sanity and shopping!
hadley has had a low grade fever for over a week now... last friday i brought her to the doctor's for them to check her ears, and sure enough she had an infection. we started her on her antibiotic and the low grade fever stayed. she was running anywhere from 100.3 - 100.6. i brought her back to the pedi on tuesday and they said her ears looked good, to just watch her temp. they were not too concerned b/c she is happy, sleeping good, and eating well. i just took her temp. again today and it is 101.1 - i guess i will just keep track of it and bring it up with her doctor at her appointment on tuesday. i have no idea what is going on...
here are some pictures of the little lady... such a good girl!!!! well, except that she now enjoys pooping while in the extersaucer, and that has lead to a lot of laundry due to poop explosions!!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
today mason's ears looks good. we discussed my concerns with his speech and language. lately his speech has become very robotic sounding. he also says "what?" all day long. well, he passed both his hearing test, and the test to check the ear drums... great news! i also asked for the doctor's opinion on hadley's ears since she is on her 3rd ear infection and she is only 4 months old.
basically the doctor told us that he is hoping that the kids will both have healthy ears now that we are entering spring/summer. if either get an infection before the fall, to give him a call and we can discuss putting tubes in, but he doesn't want to be too aggressive right now. so, now we just wait and see.
after our appointment, we met some friends for ice cream at Tootsie's. today is opening day for the season, and we all got an ice cream... too bad it started to rain, and we couldn't eat outside like we planned. one of our favorite things to do in the summer on sunday nights is to get an ice cream at Tootsie's and walk to the center of town and listen to the concern on the common. i can't wait to bring hadley this summer. lots of times we meet andra and phil there, and this year avery will join us too!!!
so far this week i have spent a lot of time driving... and it looks like the rest of the week will be busy too. if we don't stay busy, then the week seems to drag on forever.
in other news, poor mason wants to be just like carter. everything and anything carter does, mason wants to follow. he gets so sad when he can't do it all. one of these days carter will like playing with his brother and not get so annoyed with him, and when he does i am sure mason will be there waiting for some brotherly love.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
it actually went well, all the kids were happy and smiled... just not always at the same time. the hardest part is after they take the photos, the photographer goes back and does some editing, and putting together your slide show, that is where the boys start to get restless. usually if craig is with me, he brings them to the play area in the mall, or for walk. today they were stuck waiting there with me.
after a couple of time-outs and lollipops, i finally get to see the pictures... they sure did come out good.
here is the link - http://www.photoreflect.com/pr3/orderpage.aspx?pi=0IPJ0B6H000000&po=0&c=3CJ91N if you need a password, it is 2389.
Monday, April 20, 2009
as if cleaning puke isn't gross enough, it is even worse when you don't have the comforts of home, towels, water, new clothes, etc. it can be actually quite difficult. since we had our bags packed for the day, i had a pair of pj's to change mason into. we were also close to craig's office, so he came to bring me his car seat, so i didn't have to put mason back in the one filled with vomit.
2 hours later, we are back to where we started... but now i have 2 very unhappy boys. thankfully mason was fine for the rest of the day. when we got home he wanted chocolate cookies and milk, not the saltine's and water i offered him. after lunch i gave him a bath, and as soon as he came out, he asked if it was time to go to auntie lu lu's house yet. clearly, he was feeling much better.
the rest of my afternoon was spent washing clothes, and car seat covers. when craig got home he cleaned the inside of my car.
i am really hoping the rest of the week goes better... wish me luck!!!
Friday, April 17, 2009
here are some pictures from the last week... my own personal foto friday!
oh, and this was the weather last saturday when i was setting up our easter egg hunt for our friends. we had about 8 families coming to our house rain or shine... i had to set up the egg hunt in the house for the kids, and the garage was where we all hung out.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
craig- he is doing great with his weight loss. i think he is down about 30 lbs. now. he is a great dad and husband. he has a ton of vacation time, and has been taking some random days off which has been fun. also, i think he is having more fun with carter's new DS than carter is.
carter - i had carter's parent/teacher conference last week. he is doing so good in school. he is now reading, and loves his dr. seuss books. he is a good boy in school, which i was so happy to hear. he is actually really good at home too. we had a slight adjustment period after he started full day kindergarten this year, but ever since mid-november, he has pulled it together. he always comes home and reports everyone's bad behavior and i was a bit nervous that he may have been involved more than he lets on, but mrs. lamb assured me that he is one of her top students. just a quick example - carter told me that russell and kevin got in big trouble. he informed me that kevin pulled down his pants and told russell to smell his butt, and russell actually did it! thank god, it wasn't my kid!!!
mason - when mason turned 3 he no longer qualified for early intervention services. our town tested him and determined that he does need to continue getting speech, and offered us 2 sessions per week (3o min. each). he has also had 3 ear infections since his tubes came out last fall. both his pedi and speech therapist think getting tubes again with help with his language. we have a follow-up appointment with his ENT next week, so i guess we'll see what he says. mason is fun and friendly. he ADORES his big brother, and wants to do EVERYTHING that carter does. it is really cute to watch. i am trying to skip naps all together these days... he was staying up way too late on the days he napped. so we are replacing nap time with walk time. mason has a busy schedule for a 3 year old. on mondays we do play group, tues/fri speech, wed. miss stephanie comes for 2 hours, and thurs. we have swimming. busy, busy, busy!!!!
hadley - my beautiful baby girl!!! she is amazing... she is happy, and just goes with the flow. she is a big girl!!! she may be a bit on the chunky side, but i love it! i now can only buy her a few outfits at a time, b/c she is growing so fast. like most 3rd children, she is on the go and is a trooper. i can't wait for her 4 month appointment later this month to see what her stats are. i am waiting for the weather to be a little bit warmer, and then i plan on moving her out of her infant carrier, and into her big girl car seat. today was beautiful outside, and after our walk she got her first swing ride. she loved it!!! and then she feel asleep in the swing... i couldn't imagine our family without her.
so there you have it, a bit of an update on all of us. i am going to try to upload some pictures to post later this week.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
yesterday i went to weight watchers before Carter's b-day party. i was down 1.2 lbs this week, with a total loss of 15.4!!!! i am so proud of myself!! so, i now need another goal to keep me going. i am hoping to be down another 15 lbs. by my b-day (june 28th). that would be a major accomplishment for me. wish me luck!!!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
i love you!!! xoxo
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
i love my kids so much. each of them has a very special place in my heart and brought something to my life that was missing. carter made me a mom. before i had him, i was either Shannon or Mrs. Jacobs, and on april 2, 2003 i got a new title, i became mommy. when you have your first child, your world really changes. the days of sleeping in, going out late, and doing whatever you want, when you want are over. my life suddenly had more purpose. craig and i went from a couple to a family.
we also made the decision for me to be a SAHM, and that is was an adjustment too. i loved my job and my co-workers, and although i loved staying home with carter, i did feel isolated at first. i was jealous that craig still got to go out after work, and go out for lunch. it was then i decided that i needed to treat being a mom as my career. we joined play groups, moms club and did gymboree. we went for daily walks, trips to target and even had lunch dates at Friendly's. i made sure i showered and got dressed every morning, i kept up with my hair and pedicures. it was important for me to feel good about myself and not let myself go. i became the CEO of the Jacobs family.
six years later, and i couldn't imagine doing anything else. i love and enjoy my life, my family and my kids.